Atrophy or Awareness?

Happy Sunday,

Onward to Curiosity — Let’s get right into it.

As I walked into the grocery store — feelings of stress and worry filled my mind.

I am not surprised by these thought patterns, as they have been present most of my life.

As I continue filling my shopping cart with my desired items, I feel a bodily sensation arise.

“Damn, why is my heart beating so fast? Why am I sweating right now? Bro — CHILL OUT!”

Now, I’m getting frustrated. This frustration can easily override my mind, body, and spirit — sending me into a spiral of stress.

In the past, this simple grocery store could’ve turned into a minor anxiety attack.

Nowadays, I am aware.

I still have feelings of stress, worry, and anxiety — instead of ignoring these feelings, I realize now that these are signals and I need to check in with myself to explore the reasons behind my feelings.

“I know what’s going on — I’m trying to escape my anxiety. I cannot run away from my mind, it’s here forever. I’m okay. Relax and listen to the anxiety. What is it trying to tell me?”

Gaining Awareness Has Changed My Life.

Having awareness is just one part of the puzzle — but it is a huge piece.

You see — It is hard to change behaviors/routines/habits/reactions without understanding the value of awareness.

In today's age of distractions and never-ending stress, our ability to pay attention and find basic awareness is constantly being attacked.

You probably see it all the time —

• a driver who is distracted on the road because they are trying to navigate the GPS or send a text.

• a person so glued to their phone - obvious to the world and things happening around them.

• an adult who is trying to juggle bills, work, exercise, sleep, and family — losing track of the simple blessings while they’re focused on their constant “stressings”

• the partner who cannot seem to overcome their insecurities and projects them onto the person they love.

• having a conversation with someone who you can tell isn’t listening with full intention.

• the parents who are so stuck on trying to make their child a professional athlete that they miss the whole point of being a parent.

• a man who loses track of his time because he is caught up in social media scrolling (guilty!)

• The examples are endless — all of these situations would be improved drastically if the participants understood the value of awareness.

Could we blame them? They DON’T EVEN KNOW — they haven't cultivated awareness.

These aren’t bad people, we are not better than them.

They just haven’t gone down this particular corridor.

I went from someone who was easily frustrated, unfocused, and distracted.

Now — I am on the route to a profound meaningful life experience.

Here are the methods I found useful in transforming my awareness, going from an over-stressed and depressed Paril to a more aware & attentive Paril:

• Mindfulness practice (improving ability to focus and awareness in various situations)

• Social Media Consumption Rules (limiting distractions)

• Self Questioning + Journaling (exploring awareness and attention)

Mindfulness Practice

I can already hear you “Meditation doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried already.”

Relax. Chill out. Breathe. Let’s explore Mindfulness a bit further.

Mindfulness is a skill that we can improve on in various ways — we don’t need to meditate for hours a day.

Meditation is one variation of mindfulness practice — there are multiple forms of meditation as well.

Mindfulness is not a “forever” fix, we are not trying to “gain” or “feel” anything.

Our goal is to simply improve the skill of mindfulness — keeping our attention and focus on the present moment.

This skill is useful when trying to live a life of intention and meaning.

Mindfulness practice can be done in almost any situation — you don’t need a quiet room and perfect serenity.

Some of my favorite ways to practice mindfulness:

• Walking with my dog (focusing on nature, breathing deeply, and enjoying time with my dog.)

• Organizing my personal spaces (cleaning calmly, putting items in their rightful places, not rushing, folding clothes with precision, washing dishes well.)

• Reading books/articles (focusing on words and overall points, breathing deeply, sitting with solid posture, understanding and note-taking.)

• Listening to my favorite music (fully invested in the lyrics, music, and energy of the music — no matter the genre.)

• Remaining Calm during Chaos (focusing on what I can control, keeping a smooth breathing pattern, avoiding irrational thoughts/actions, and observing the situation from a heightened perspective.)

Mindfulness is being locked in on the present moment. That’s all we truly ever have anyway, the present moment.

As I mentioned earlier, modern life is filled with distraction and unnecessary stress — most of which is pushed into our faces without our say.

Practicing the skill of mindfulness will improve how you respond to multiple distractions/situations in your life.

Mindfulness is a non-negotiable skill in the game of Awareness.

We must cultivate a basic level of mindfulness — that is how we start the journey to gaining deeper awareness.

Gaining and leveraging awareness is essential if we want to live a meaningful life.

Social Media Self Regulation

I thought I was alone — I thought I was the only one who struggled with staying away from social media.

Scrolling the apps. Not even being fully present, hunched over, breathing shallowly, glued to the addictive pixels showcasing the millions of posts of dogs, basketball clips, funny videos, and of course — attractive women.

I couldn't understand it.

Why is it so easy to waste time on social media?

Why do I pull my phone out and scroll — instead of working on my life purpose?

Why am I addicted to social media? (Boom — this question is where I gained full awareness of my problem.)

I got to a point where I felt helpless — deleting the apps only worked for a while.

I didn’t want to completely fall off social media, but I knew I had to get back my attention.

My goal was (and still is) to decrease the time invested in social media consumption and repurpose that time toward my goals/dreams.

Because, at the end of my life — I want to reflect on my lifetime, not my screen time.

I want to reflect on my contributions to this world — not on my addiction to social media scrolling.

I want to look back at my 20s, 30s, and beyond with gratitude for action — instead of the regret of inaction.

So — I imposed social media regulations for myself.

• 45-minute hard cap of daily access - split between all apps. (I am not perfect, but I am much better due to this limit.)

• Check in with my screen time tracker weekly. (Most phones have a screen time track feature — make sure to reflect and observe your habits. Avoid negative feelings towards yourself, you are simply gaining awareness.)

• Asking myself before I pick up my phone: What am I going to use my phone for? (This question is hard to ask sometimes, but it opens you to the truth. Most of the time, when I’m reaching for my phone — I am trying to escape reality or work. Now that I have awareness, I can direct my focus and attention toward things I care about.)

There are so many rules you can choose to implement — find what works best for you and your life.

I can promise you — less time on your phone and more time present in your life will be weird at first.

Your mind will complain about “boredom” — “Give me that instant dopamine from social media scrolling” it will tell you.

Resist.

Instead, listen to the voice that reminds you of your life purpose.

You will get used to it — just make sure you give yourself grace while trying to change your habits.

This is a hard one. I am STILL working on it — I am learning that this is a daily battle.

Now that I am armed with Awareness, this battle is a lot easier than it used to be.

Self Questioning + Journaling

I find tremendous value in asking myself questions.

My daily writing habit started with a pen, a journal, and life full of stress.

As I started to get things off my mind and onto the paper, I felt a relief that I had never felt before.

It felt like I had the monkey taken off my back — It felt like I was free from my mind's torture chamber.

I am able to ask myself questions and answer them with full honesty.

It was scary at first — but now, it is a cornerstone habit.

Asking myself questions has improved my Awareness and my focus on my journey toward my goals/dreams.

You can develop your own questions, find some online, or start with some of these below.

Remember, these questions only need YOUR answer.

No one else needs to know your answers, this is not for them — this is for you.

There is no right or wrong — this is an exercise in Awareness.

Here are some of the questions I have asked myself:

• How do I respond to situations when I am frustrated, angry, sad or annoyed?

• Why do I talk so much? Why is it hard for me to shut up?

• Why do I grab my phone when I’m stressed?

• Why do I eat the foods I eat?

• What does my ideal day look like?

• Is this in my control? Is it outside of my control?

• What can I do to positively impact others on a greater scale?

• Am I doing my job to the best of my ability?

• Is this who I want to be? Would the future Paril be proud of my current actions — or will future Paril be disappointed with my current actions?

• Who am I spending time with? Are they the people I should be spending time with?

Again, these types of questions are hard to answer, but they will lead you to greater levels of Awareness.

I encourage you to spend some time with pen and paper, journaling your thoughts and answers to these (and other) questions.

Once you have that Awareness, you can leverage it to change/maintain your actions and routines/habits.

It has been a long journey to get to this point — and there is still a long way to go.

I remember how I used to handle my anxiety and my stress. Very ineffective and often downright pathetic.

Now, the big blocks of stress melt down into manageable pieces, the anxiety slows down to a snail's speed, and the actions I must take are clearer than ever.

All I had to do was cultivate Awareness.

Thanks for reading my first EVER newsletter.

Your support means so much to me. I appreciate you.

As promised, here is this week's Parils Top Five:

Top 5 Books I’ve Read/Listened to this year (so far!)

1. Awareness by Anthony De Mello

2. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

3. Stolen Focus by Johann Hari

4. The Art of the Impossible by Steven Kotler

5. Essentialism by Greg McKeown (I also loved his book, Effortless!)

Wishing you a blessed week,

Paril Bhakta

Embrace the Chase